Happy

It’s YOU.

You are what’s wrong with the world. And anyone that has listened to Baz Luhrman’s ‘Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen)’ will know that you should stay away from magazines “they will only make you feel ugly”.

Now, I am about to take a different stance when it comes to the photoshop vs. skinny vs. fat vs. fake debate.

Britney Spears (I’m trying very hard to remove my hardcore admiration for her) she steps on the stage, looking AMAZING (taking note; she has had two kids and I have had none… She still looks better than me and I’m more than 10 years her junior!).

It should be no news to any magazine or publisher that majority of photo shoots, adverts etc. use photo shop. We all know this.

But please. Slam a person for going out and (from what I have read) putting on a fucking amazing show. She looked incredible, and most of all, happy – up on that stage. But there you go… With your quip.

‘Yep, that’s for proving us right (ignoring your talent) you did use photoshop and you aren’t that skinny’ – YOU ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD (among other things).

We will never win.

End of rant x

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Maybe we could be each other’s soul mates

“Don’t laugh at me, but maybe we could be each other’s soul mates. Then we could let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.” Charlotte York, Sex and the City.

Lucky for me… I have my soul mate. But even better than that I am blessed enough that he will be there, for ever.

Months can go by, and a lot can change (believe me! I’m talking lovers, ex lovers, marriage, tattoos, weight, hair, and god knows what else) but there he is… My SOLE/SOUL mate.

6 years ago, god knows what month it was… I was put clubbing with a group of friends and my current boyfriend. I know exactly what I was wearing (high waisted harem black suit trousers, black Mary Jane Louboutins, low cut/low back white racer back ripped vest, and a very naughty, very see through, lace and silk bra; and of course, a chanel 2.55 – it will always be me to wear a vest that was slutty but I had picked up from a market in Vietnam, trousers from Topshop and then top the cost of my whole outfit by adding a bag and shoes!). Anyway; there I was walking along the high street of this little town that I had grown up in to go move my boyfriends car whilst he was busy buying everyone drinks… Who do I bump into? My love, my genie, Reece Morgan. Now what I haven’t mentioned is that – this club was full of nice girls dressed like hoochies! You would see a Chanel here, Kurt Geiger there, Prada there… But the main aim with these girlies was sluttiness and as you can probably tell; what I was wearing was sexy, subtle but never hoochie mumma! Maybe that’s why he chose me, only he could tell you that. The inimitable Reece. So there I am, treating the high street as a run way and I bump into an acquaintance, turns out he was heading to the same place I was drinking with his girlies. Before I knew it, 2 weeks later I was on a stone table, in a mesh body, with black lipstick, wet look black eyeshadow, slicked back jet black hair… Pouting and posing. And that was just the beginning…

Now, when I first came across Reece I just knew him to be an aspiring photographer with an amazing sense of style. It wasn’t until we had numerous Cosmos and Margaritas that I realised every element that makes him is pure fabulous. From his ever changing hair styles, ooh snap! To his huge collection of handbags from Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Chanel and Hermes. Not forgetting his irresistibly delicious personality.

Only Reece would turn up at one of my friends magazine launch parties in Mayfair and get papped on his way home, simply for looking so gorg and fabulous. As if! Crazy.

This man is there for everything whether it be a simple BBQ in the garden of my fathers ranch (me in flares and him in all black), drinks in Canary Wharf (me in 10 inch heels and him in vintage), winter cocktails in Covent Garden (me with my pink 2.55 chanel and him draping himself in fur), a burlesque show in the West End (me in all black apart from my rose gold courts and Michael Kors and him traipsing in Dior), a Cheryl Cole concert at the O2 arena (me in leather trousers and him holding a jug of Cosmo) or us trying to figure out a way to make pink fishnet mesh work in my dressing room.

But it’s not just the clothes, the memories and the designers, it’s the art – his art, my drunken ‘art’, the art of love (or trying I find it), our worshipping of art (whether it be SJP, bitching about Kim K, slamming Britney, or worshipping the queens of the red carpet and the skinny bitches behind a camera!). There is pure talent there, and not necessarily the talent that you make for yourself by having a subscription to Vogue, or trading in your mums vintage for the to-die-for-vintage, or dressing to impress… For me, he was born with it. It’s the air, the blood and all the different organs that put him together and create pure talent-full fabulousness!

Well ya know what, here’s to the men that have come and gone (and stayed!) for the both of us, the fashion faux pas (for the both of us!!) and here’s to the next 50 plus years where this (photographer, stylist, socialite, bitch, editor, realised) man will still be my soul/sole mate… Because no matter what happens I will be wearing my Louboutins as slippers and he might well be taking the trash out in his vintage Hermes.

Love you, DOLL.

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Next In Line

Unfortunately, I think, for me I have been caught in a time where one ‘generation’ of women are reaching their 40’s or about to hit 50; and it’s time for us to find the new girl with the legs, the new girl with the amazing hair and the new girl with the best breasts. What I am beginning to see is that the pointless/ talentless/ annoying/ brat-ish/ slutty likes of MILEY CYRUS are coming up and going to ‘replace’ stars like GWEN STEFANI, who not only has the most amazing washboard stomach, sexy husband, cool kids but one hell of a voice. Gwen Stefani has been married to musician Gavin Rossdale for over 10 years, which slightly hinders 19-year-old Miley Cyrus’ engagement to actor Liam Hemsworth.

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They are the young kids that are quick to claim that women can have it all, but they have shimmied into the spotlight after their descendants did all the leg work… DEMI MOORE was married to Bruce Willis for 13 years, they had 3 daughters and seemed to have the foundation for success. So here we see ANNE HATHAWAY marry Adam Shulman [an actor, but not very well known] and truly believe that she will ‘learn from the mistakes of her elders’.

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But then we have KATE HUDSON and her mother Goldie Hawn, Kate took the reins with respect and understanding of what her mother had achieved, lost and found within the spotlight. Kate Hudson was married to rocker Chris Robinson for 7 years, having one son, but has now found herself engaged to Muse frontman Matt Bellamy and with another son. GOLDIE HAWN was married to Bill Hudson for 4 years, having two children but finding her peace and love with fellow actor Kurt Russell for nearly 30 years. This leaves us watching newlyweds BLAKE LIVELY and Ryan Reynolds [36] [who was previously married to SCARLET JOHANSSON for 3 years] with wide eyes; can they make it? After all, she is only 25 and not really making tracks set for an Oscar.

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They have no underlying depth, only hunger for fame, fortune and flashy fashion. They want their cake, served with a spoon, and they want it fed to them.

Even after all

I think sometimes people can spend so long trying to convince other people that they are happy, in the hope that these people while help re-convince them that they are truly happy… when maybe they are not. Happiness is a difficult subject, and a difficult thing to try and achieve; but also maintain for a length of time. For some people happiness is simple, and most of the time it is because they don’t know any different from simplicity. Whether that be family, love or their career and education OR all of it. It is not often that one individual can ‘have it all’ and say that yes, they are truly HAPPY. From day-to-day… happy. I can proudly [and safely say] that I know what happiness is, that yes, I have felt that feeling. It wasn’t a time where I only realised that I had it once it had gone. I knew then and there, that I was happy. BUT I also realise that I wasn’t happy because everything was perfect; because at that time things weren’t perfect. If anything I was in a blank space, I was floating… I didn’t know what I wanted to achieve from my life, nor did I know what I was put here for. Although for a while I just stopped, and I believed in the ‘now’ and what was being offered then and there. I even felt so ‘full’ on the happiness that I needed to express it, to as many people as possible. Not to make them jealous, not to rub it in; but because they should [should’ve] been happy for me too – and realise that happiness is yet achievable for everyone. You don’t have to be rich, have an education, have a big family, poor, be in love, have millions of friends, thousands of shoes, be skinny… or perfect. It is achievable.

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And… EVEN AFTER ALL this year has brought me, I may not feel ‘full’ on happiness RIGHT NOW – but at least I know it is achievable for me; and that there is a chance I can have it again.