I had to go out last night, my life is a mess right now…
I had to out with my friends yesterday…Yes Until 5.am
as you seen.
because in the middle of the night, the agent of the guy I’m shooting in Beverly hills text me this… ” Hey Ayaz, The House is not available for shooting until the end of the year”
All my world just fall apart when I received that e-mail.
I haven’t smoke weed, since I have work every day.
Anyway, this e-mail you sent me made me very happy as always, you know? You have no idea about the desperation and sadness that is going trough my body right now…. I lost the complete control about what’s gonna happen in my life tomorrow or in an year…
I had everything prepared,but I’m still gonna talk with the agent, there’s must be a solution.
I know, I should follow more your blog, and I will also “Share” it on my facebook account, so people see and understand what are you girls going trough, That image of the of you girls ridding a bicycle I can almost imagine you.
Your mom loves you, like mine loves me, like Alex mom loves him, it’s something normal, Mother will always miss us, but they are always gonna be there for their kids, always, it’s the cycle of life, to move on, find new activities and try new prospectives of life, different cultures, different feelings, different emotions…. I don’t blame her, If I has a baby like you, I would stay with you forever in my arms if I could!!! But then again, it’s your course, if you don’t feel like it is the right choice, then obviously you have to change for something else… that’s my personal opinion about that kind of stuff… it’s something that is going to make part of your life, for one year…you just have to make sure about that course. I don’t pressure you, I don’t decide for you, that is something that you have to decide yourself, obviously I’m here to help or to comment whenever you feel lost, that’s why I am here, I’m your boyfriend, and I’ll stay on your side, no matter what choice you make, I’m your Boy, always in your side. Lets frame the pictures together in here in New York, let’s do it together so you take them with you back home.
I need you more than anything today, I’m feeling really down, gladly I have you and my friends to cheer me up, no film= nothing…
I’m fucked up…..But as always I’m going to keep on moving and chose another options.
As I’m writing these e-mail to you there is the Ice Cream truck outside putting that silly music to call children attention… I feel like a Child now, I feel like I need you , and I wanna hug you, I might go outside and choke myself in one of those creamy, fatty, greasy ice creams from New york city…
I need you here, I need my girlfriend :(, I miss you so much…I just wanna stay with my girlfriend forever in that our little secret place, I love how this e-mail made me feel so happy, Jackpot…..
Talking about those dates, Silvia was supposed to come in the 3rd of August to my house in NYC, because by that time i was still working in my film, and that was the date i told her to come to go to L.A with me then. She already bought the ticket, I’m doing my best to ask her to change it to after the 8th so I have my time with you alone. I’m willing to pay the new flight so she come later.
I’m still going to read the e-mails you write me, over and over again, even when I’m old you know? I wanna be on my 40’s or 50’s and read that this girl one day made me smile even in the worst of my days… and that’s why I LOVE YOU that’s why I’m crazy in love for you. By the way, No you are not making sense I didn’t understand word, of getting married separately… why In the world are we talking about marriage in first place, and second why does it have to be separately? I didn’t get it, rather not reading that part….
Right now I do miss my family…
Right now I do miss my friends…
but Right now what I really miss most is my girlfriend….
I have may not reached the 1,200 words but one thing is certain…
The Love and passion I feel for you right now, is bigger than whatever I can write….or you can..
I love you more than anything.
P.S- the thing you wrote on the Diary in the 13th of July made me so happy…to read it, It would be a dream came true, to be with you 24/7, but then again is something personal that unfortunately even if I want, it’s not up to me to decide it….
But just so you know… Yes…made me smile a lot.