Ryan Reynolds

Break up confusion: part 1000 of 100,000,000

Putting things back how they used to be. Or not.

You will never normally intentionally change things about yourself in a relationship, some things you will. But when you break up, some of those qualities will have to go, just in order for you to cope with being a single you again. But also – whether the relationship was good or bad – you have to take some treasures and good qualities with you.

397039_10150538064873676_1388316972_n For example – I have learnt to not wear make up. Now, for some this is a little thing and you won’t relate or understand. But for years my previous boyfriend (who I was with for over 5 years) told me I was beautiful with and without make up on. He never wanted me to wear as much make up as I did. I never needed it, and I knew all along that I didn’t need it – but I still wore it. Anyway – it took one person, and just him, for some reason, to change how I felt about it. It could have been the way he first said it, the way he looked at me, the fact that he never stopped telling me. But here I am now, I rarely wear make up.

photo 1 When we were mad for each other, and I wanted him to know I would say ‘thank you’. He gave me the confidence, somehow, to be this person. To have the confidence to have a bare face.

photo 2 Here I am, he gave me, taught me – something. And no matter if I wake up one day mad at him for not being mine, or if I stay in this place of just missing him… I would be lying if I said I didn’t learn or gain anything from my relationship with him.

photo 3 For different people it could be ‘x’ ‘y’ or ‘z’ – but for me, I am grateful and very blessed to have had that person in my life.

photo 4 It is important to remember the good, and everything you did and gained from being together – but it is also okay to put things about yourself back to how they used to be. Not that your other half told you to not be that way, or stopped you from having those qualities, maybe they just weren’t necessary when you were part of a relationship.

photo 5– don’t second guess everything.

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Break Up Confusion: Part 700 of 100,000,000

Your next orgasm. 

So, part of being in a relationship is regular sex. Or at least it should be, and if it isn’t you should look into that… 2 months into a relationship or 10 years into a relationship.

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For example: you are in a relationship with someone for 7 months, you are committed, you have placed your ‘titles’ (boyfriend/girlfriend etc). You face the different living situations, but it is what it is – you are with someone new and you want them. Everywhere and anywhere… pretty much all the time.

Well, for whatever reason, you have now broken up. But for the last 7 months, you have had sex (well, what should be amazing sex) all the time, pretty much everyday if that’s what you wanted.

ba74d181826e3e34a35d244eb6153d71Now let’s also say that you were heavily invested in this relationship – so you aren’t gonna be interested in having someone other than that person touch, hold, feel you… [the only exception to this is drunk sex, and this happens when you are really angry and mad at your now new ex].

ke-3443To tie this all up: your body, brain, soul and heart are already under a lot of pressure from the fact that you are heartbroken and going through a break up [stress]. But now your body is facing the consequences of build up from not having someone worship your body and relieve your needs as they have done for the past 7 months.

You are gonna make some crazy decisions and have some fucked up thoughts anyway, just to get you through the break up, so it;s only gonna be worse if you are have SEX WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS.

Therefore it is no wonder people invented ‘break up sex’.

Ted Spiker from Mens Health gets it:

Why it’s monumental: It’s like the day before a diet. Tomorrow I’ll start, but today I’m going to enjoy one last order of chicken wings. You’ve decided together that the relationship isn’t working, but what the hey, one last tryst won’t hurt anyone. And it winds up being better than any you’ve had in the past 6 months for two reasons.

One’s physical: Fisher says that there’s some speculation among researchers that in so-called last-chance copulation, a man may unknowingly alter the levels of certain hormones in his semen, and that may trigger his partner to ovulate spontaneously. In other words, your subconscious tries to hold on to the commitment by potentially impregnating her, even though you don’t want to.

The other reason is psychological: “When you know you’re never going to see someone again, you want to leave her wanting you—and you’ll do anything to drive her out of her mind,” says Cadell. “So you both end up concentrating on being uninhibited.”

And no, before any ‘clever half whit’ says: ‘just do it yourself’ – you clearly have never had MIND BLOWING SEX. 

What are you supposed to do? You don’t want to completely disrespect yourself and your relationship [that you are mourning] – so TINDER is out of the window. You aren’t ready to be that person.

Check part 69. 

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/best_sexual_experiences/Breakup_Sex.php

http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/wild-secrets/break-up-sex-and-10-circumstances-where-it-works

Maybe we could be each other’s soul mates

“Don’t laugh at me, but maybe we could be each other’s soul mates. Then we could let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.” Charlotte York, Sex and the City.

Lucky for me… I have my soul mate. But even better than that I am blessed enough that he will be there, for ever.

Months can go by, and a lot can change (believe me! I’m talking lovers, ex lovers, marriage, tattoos, weight, hair, and god knows what else) but there he is… My SOLE/SOUL mate.

6 years ago, god knows what month it was… I was put clubbing with a group of friends and my current boyfriend. I know exactly what I was wearing (high waisted harem black suit trousers, black Mary Jane Louboutins, low cut/low back white racer back ripped vest, and a very naughty, very see through, lace and silk bra; and of course, a chanel 2.55 – it will always be me to wear a vest that was slutty but I had picked up from a market in Vietnam, trousers from Topshop and then top the cost of my whole outfit by adding a bag and shoes!). Anyway; there I was walking along the high street of this little town that I had grown up in to go move my boyfriends car whilst he was busy buying everyone drinks… Who do I bump into? My love, my genie, Reece Morgan. Now what I haven’t mentioned is that – this club was full of nice girls dressed like hoochies! You would see a Chanel here, Kurt Geiger there, Prada there… But the main aim with these girlies was sluttiness and as you can probably tell; what I was wearing was sexy, subtle but never hoochie mumma! Maybe that’s why he chose me, only he could tell you that. The inimitable Reece. So there I am, treating the high street as a run way and I bump into an acquaintance, turns out he was heading to the same place I was drinking with his girlies. Before I knew it, 2 weeks later I was on a stone table, in a mesh body, with black lipstick, wet look black eyeshadow, slicked back jet black hair… Pouting and posing. And that was just the beginning…

Now, when I first came across Reece I just knew him to be an aspiring photographer with an amazing sense of style. It wasn’t until we had numerous Cosmos and Margaritas that I realised every element that makes him is pure fabulous. From his ever changing hair styles, ooh snap! To his huge collection of handbags from Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Chanel and Hermes. Not forgetting his irresistibly delicious personality.

Only Reece would turn up at one of my friends magazine launch parties in Mayfair and get papped on his way home, simply for looking so gorg and fabulous. As if! Crazy.

This man is there for everything whether it be a simple BBQ in the garden of my fathers ranch (me in flares and him in all black), drinks in Canary Wharf (me in 10 inch heels and him in vintage), winter cocktails in Covent Garden (me with my pink 2.55 chanel and him draping himself in fur), a burlesque show in the West End (me in all black apart from my rose gold courts and Michael Kors and him traipsing in Dior), a Cheryl Cole concert at the O2 arena (me in leather trousers and him holding a jug of Cosmo) or us trying to figure out a way to make pink fishnet mesh work in my dressing room.

But it’s not just the clothes, the memories and the designers, it’s the art – his art, my drunken ‘art’, the art of love (or trying I find it), our worshipping of art (whether it be SJP, bitching about Kim K, slamming Britney, or worshipping the queens of the red carpet and the skinny bitches behind a camera!). There is pure talent there, and not necessarily the talent that you make for yourself by having a subscription to Vogue, or trading in your mums vintage for the to-die-for-vintage, or dressing to impress… For me, he was born with it. It’s the air, the blood and all the different organs that put him together and create pure talent-full fabulousness!

Well ya know what, here’s to the men that have come and gone (and stayed!) for the both of us, the fashion faux pas (for the both of us!!) and here’s to the next 50 plus years where this (photographer, stylist, socialite, bitch, editor, realised) man will still be my soul/sole mate… Because no matter what happens I will be wearing my Louboutins as slippers and he might well be taking the trash out in his vintage Hermes.

Love you, DOLL.

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Next In Line

Unfortunately, I think, for me I have been caught in a time where one ‘generation’ of women are reaching their 40’s or about to hit 50; and it’s time for us to find the new girl with the legs, the new girl with the amazing hair and the new girl with the best breasts. What I am beginning to see is that the pointless/ talentless/ annoying/ brat-ish/ slutty likes of MILEY CYRUS are coming up and going to ‘replace’ stars like GWEN STEFANI, who not only has the most amazing washboard stomach, sexy husband, cool kids but one hell of a voice. Gwen Stefani has been married to musician Gavin Rossdale for over 10 years, which slightly hinders 19-year-old Miley Cyrus’ engagement to actor Liam Hemsworth.

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They are the young kids that are quick to claim that women can have it all, but they have shimmied into the spotlight after their descendants did all the leg work… DEMI MOORE was married to Bruce Willis for 13 years, they had 3 daughters and seemed to have the foundation for success. So here we see ANNE HATHAWAY marry Adam Shulman [an actor, but not very well known] and truly believe that she will ‘learn from the mistakes of her elders’.

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But then we have KATE HUDSON and her mother Goldie Hawn, Kate took the reins with respect and understanding of what her mother had achieved, lost and found within the spotlight. Kate Hudson was married to rocker Chris Robinson for 7 years, having one son, but has now found herself engaged to Muse frontman Matt Bellamy and with another son. GOLDIE HAWN was married to Bill Hudson for 4 years, having two children but finding her peace and love with fellow actor Kurt Russell for nearly 30 years. This leaves us watching newlyweds BLAKE LIVELY and Ryan Reynolds [36] [who was previously married to SCARLET JOHANSSON for 3 years] with wide eyes; can they make it? After all, she is only 25 and not really making tracks set for an Oscar.

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They have no underlying depth, only hunger for fame, fortune and flashy fashion. They want their cake, served with a spoon, and they want it fed to them.